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District Property Secretary

District Disability Officer & Deaf Link Person

District Ministries Panel Secretary

District Communications
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December
Advice
I Love You

November
38. Bald is beautiful
37. Fire
36 Sleep
35 Music

October 2006
34. Stupidity
33. Painting
32. mmm Pasties
31. Built to last
30. Phlegm

September 2006
29. Meetings
28. Crime thoughts
27. Colours
26. Unwanted guests

August 2006
25. Comparison
24. Waterproof Mascara
23. Tasty MSG
22. Helplessness

July 2006
21. Attraction
20. Hair
19. Hero
18. Laughter
17. Factoids

June 2006
16. Voiceless
15. Bruises (ouch)
14. Sunburn
13. Mistakes

May 2006
12. Arms
11. Willow Tree
10. Eurovision
9. Chicken
8. Addictions

April 2006
7. Age
6. Celebrities
5. Language

March 2006
4. Commonwealth Games
3. Decisions
2. Drizzle
1. Trelawney

Unwanted guests

 Have you ever had an unwanted guest? You know the type, they visit when it’s not convenient, they disrupt your life, they get under your skin , irritate you by their very presence and leave you feeling lousy. I’m sure you’ve all experienced the kind of visitor I’m talking about….of course I’m referring to head lice, or more affectionately termed, ‘nits’. (yes I know that the nits are just the egg casings, but we all say it referring to the creeping, crawling lice as well) If, while reading the above passage you were thinking of great-aunt Maud or the slightly slimy bloke next door – shame on you!

 I have spent this last week scratching and itching and literally pulling my hair out with the pesky blighters which had chosen to reside in my hair. As a child I remember getting nits a few times, but was lucky enough to escape the nit nurse finding them. I’m not sure if you have all had the pleasure of experiencing the nit nurse as they no longer exist, so I shall enlighten you. Imagine sitting quite happily in a primary school classroom, when someone whispers that the nit nurse is in school. Immediately your hand reaches to your scalp and you are overcome by the tremendous urge to itch (it wouldn’t surprise me if at this very moment you are scratching your head – there must be some scientific reason why the mention of nits makes our head itch in anticipation!). Your teacher then orders you to stand in a line against the wall and there you wait, trembling and nervously waiting. In she comes with a grimace on her face (understandable as not an ideal job really!) and looking like she enjoys weightlifting in their spare time. When it’s your turn she yanks your head down and rummages around your hair as if looking for that elusive bargain at a jumble sale. It seems to take forever and you wonder if she is taking so long because she is counting how many nit families are lodging there, or if you will have any hair left for them live in after she is done with you! With a sideways push to your temple, she moves to the next victim and you breathe a sigh of relief as you are nit free. For now! From further down the line there is an exclamation as the culprit is found and the poor child who is harvesting the lice is humiliated in front of everyone, and then isolated by us clean kids who don’t want to catch them. As I said, although I caught nits several times as a child (and since – hazard of the job!), I never had to undergo the shame of having them pointed out in front of everyone, and I never experienced being cut off from my friends because of it.

 I used to think that Jesus was like the nit nurse (although a bit friendlier and without the steroid abuse!). That He would make us all stand there in a line and one by one would call us forward to be searched, for Him to rummage around in our hearts and lives looking for the bad things we’d thought and done. That the lucky ‘clean’ ones would get off without punishment and that the dirty ones, that I, would get rejected because of the lousy things in me. That everyone would look at me and know that I have done things wrong and made mistakes.

 They say that head lice like nice, clean hair, but I reckon that is just a ploy to make us Nitty Nora’s feel better – “hey, you may have nits but at least you’ve got clean hair!” Actually head lice aren’t really that fussy and tend to just like hair of any kind (so my dad’s safe then! He he he!). Anyone can get nits, be they rich or poor, fat or thin, long haired or short haired. Did you also know that sinning isn’t just done by bad people, we all do it. Even those wonderful, seemingly perfect people. Even ministers! Getting things wrong, making mistakes is done by everyone, be they rich or poor, fat or thin, long haired or short haired. If Jesus is the nit nurse it’s not because He wants to embarrass you because of what us done wrong. It’s because He wants to help us to get better, to realise the rubbish that needs changing in our lives, to get rid of the things that aren’t good for us. He wants us to stop feeling lousy and to start feeling great.

 So as I go through my hair with a comb to get rid of these pesky nits, maybe I’ll take the time to comb through my life to see what bad habits and attitudes also need removing. I just wish I could stop itching though!