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December
Advice
I Love You

November
38. Bald is beautiful
37. Fire
36 Sleep
35 Music

October 2006
34. Stupidity
33. Painting
32. mmm Pasties
31. Built to last
30. Phlegm

September 2006
29. Meetings
28. Crime thoughts
27. Colours
26. Unwanted guests

August 2006
25. Comparison
24. Waterproof Mascara
23. Tasty MSG
22. Helplessness

July 2006
21. Attraction
20. Hair
19. Hero
18. Laughter
17. Factoids

June 2006
16. Voiceless
15. Bruises (ouch)
14. Sunburn
13. Mistakes

May 2006
12. Arms
11. Willow Tree
10. Eurovision
9. Chicken
8. Addictions
 

April 2006
7. Age
6. Celebrities
5. Language

March 2006
4. Commonwealth Games
3. Decisions
2. Drizzle
1. Trelawney

Comparison 

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Or maybe not! Perhaps a comparison with another human being rather than with 24 hours in August would be easier. You know what I mean, looking at all those people around you and then looking at yourself – an exercise which in my experience never goes well! Let me expand…

 … As a youth worker it is my duty to take some young folk to spiritually enlightening events, such as Breakout, Spring Harvest and Soul Survivor. Here they receive excellent, youth friendly worship, fellowship with other young Christians, fantastic activities and of course the opportunity to stay awake all night! None of this is a bad thing and I generally enjoy being able to do these trips – ok so I actually love worshipping with 10 ½ thousand people in a big tent, and I was made for playing silly games on the beach! But no-one needs to tell them that – ssshhh! There is however a downside, and that downside is that I get to see all the other youth workers who have brought their youth groups. Then the comparison begins.

 If you’ve never had the opportunity to attend one of these events I’ll explain. They are filled with the coolest, hippest, most trendy and best looking youth workers who are fully on fire for Jesus (all the time! Even in the 2 hour shower queue at 6am!) and they are so lovely and genuine and bubbly that it makes my stomach churn. I have never been cool, could never be described as trendy or good looking and in an environment where sarcasm is frowned upon, I don’t really fit in! So when I look at them, and then look at myself I draw the only possible conclusion- I’m a FREAK! Or if freak is a bit harsh, I’m the least likely Christian youth worker, I mean what was God thinking calling me to do this job? Or worse, maybe I misheard and I am supposed to be doing something else with my life (maybe something where sarcasm is rewarded – ok, I’ve sat here for ages trying to think of a sarcasm friendly job, and I’m not coming up with anything. Damn!).

 At least when I’m in Wakefield I work as the only full time paid youth worker in the circuit and so no comparison is necessary. Therefore I get on with my job and feel ok about it. But when I find myself surrounded by those who pray harder, know the Bible better and are therefore more ‘holy’, those who have colossal youth groups, gazillions of volunteers and are fit (in the non-athletic sense! Although now I mention it, I am also intimidated by those gym-type people too – arrgh!) I tend to come away feeling a bit cruddy.

 A wise man (Mike Yaconelli who is my hero, but not a visitor of Jesus at His birth!) once said that we can tend to compare the worst bits of ourselves with the minute details we know about someone else. We are therefore always going to loose and come out worse, and hating ourselves more. All I see of these other youth workers is how great they are, and I don’t even consider that they may not be entirely perfect. They may pick their nose, have smelly feet, snore, have a rubbish laugh or worse, no sense of humour! They may have messy handwriting, be bad with money, unable to ride a bike, like anchovy pizzas or sin of sins, they might like country music! Yet all I can see is how wonderful they come across in the 5 minutes I see them in comparison to the stuff I don’t like about myself in my 27 years of life (no, I’m not telling you my guilty secrets, although my handwriting could improve!).

 I’m pretty sure that these events are supposed to build us up and unite us in Christ in a loving and non-judgemental environment. Perhaps I need to learn to love myself as I try to love those around me. Possibly I need to be a little less judgemental of me as I accept others. I am actually a child of God, created and loved by Him just as much as He loves everyone else. Maybe I need to stop with the comparisons and just enjoy myself, looking at others to rejoice in how many different kinds of people God created, and to give thanks that there are so many people serving Him all in their unique ways. Oh, and if I’ve misheard my calling, I’m here now, I might as well have fun – anyone for Frisbee?