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Patience
I am not the most
patient person around. I plant a seed and keep checking it
impatiently for it to sprout and grow before my very eyes. I diet
for a day and wonder why I’m not instantly thin, and don’t even get
me started on having to wait until May for Eurovision! But put me
behind the wheel of a car and what little patience I had, flies out
of the window. It’s not like I get road rage, more of a road temper!
I get cross with slow drivers on roads you can’t overtake on, I fume
at those who don’t indicate and heaven forbid a car should cut me
up!
Of course this ‘rage’ is heightened when I’m running late (which is
more often than I’d like to admit!). So yesterday when I had to take
some friends to Birmingham
airport I left plenty of time, and then some. Knowing also that the
time of the flight meant us having to travel in the morning rush
hour, I added on even more time to make extra, extra sure we’d
arrive with time to spare – we’d park, they’d check-in and then we’d
grab a leisurely coffee before a unhurried goodbye. Unfortunately
that’s not quite what happened….
…I needed petrol so we grabbed some before setting off. Um, or at
least we tried. It took over 10 minutes to pump £6 worth of petrol
in! I stood there trying to hurry the delivery of the much needed
fuel, but it only trickled out as precious minutes passed. I
couldn’t bear to wait any longer and prayed that it was enough to
get us to the airport The slow person in front when paying meant
that my nerves were frayed and I was watching the clock and we
hadn’t even left Wakefield.
The M1 was a car park and as we finally approached the A42/M42
junction, the £6 of petrol had run out and so we had to stop again.
By now my plans of coffee were out, but there was still time for a
nice cheerio (not of the breakfast cereal variety!). Signs warned us
of delays ahead, so my quick thinking friend plotted us a new route,
which would have worked wonderfully, had this road not been closed!
Our estimated time of arrival came and went. One friend is asleep in
the back, and the other is doing anything he can to avoid the fact
that we are sandwiched between stationary lorries still miles away
from the airport. I am a mess! I am sat on the edge of my seat. I am
nervously tapping the steering wheel. I am screaming when the car in
front doesn’t immediately move into the 5 foot gap as the traffic
stops and starts. I am seriously considering driving through the
central barrier and up the road on the wrong side, which annoyingly
is clear of traffic! Then Take That come on the radio and tell me to
have a little patience! Aarrgghhh!
It is frequently said about how God’s timing is perfect and we
often have to wait on him until the time is right. It is us who has
to be patient with God and his timing – which to impatient little
me, often seems slow! But as I sat and listened to Gary Barlow’s
warbling I realised something new. There are times when in fact, it
is me who needs to ask God to be patient. I’m hurting, I’m broken,
I’m angry, I’m messed up and I know that God wants to help me and to
heal me, but it is hard. It takes time. And when I’m feeling weak I
just want God to hold me and to be patient with me and how I’m
feeling. I want permission to not have to instantly get up from my
falls and sprint off again, I want to know that it’s ok to need
time, un-pressured time, to recover, to recuperate, to come back
stronger.
So as I returned to Wakefield
from the airport I gave thanks for all the times when God has waited
patiently for me as I’ve barely moved at all and yet I’m going as
fast as I can. I realise that it is about time I displayed some
patience with those around me, who are going as fast as they can in
their slow cars!
Here are the words to the lovely Take That song. I think it speaks
beautifully of a conversation from me to God, and I pray that He
will keep being patient with me, because I have no doubt that I will
always need it!
Patience
Just have a little patience
I’m still hurting from a love I lost
I’m feeling your frustration
Any minute all the pain will stop.
Just hold me close, inside your arms tonight
Don’t be too hard on my emotions.
Cause I need time
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a
little patience.
I
really wanna start over again
I
know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend
I’ll try to be strong
Believe me I’m trying to move on
It’s complicated but understand me.
Cause I need time
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience.
Cause the scars run so deep
It’s been hard but I have to believe.
Cause I need time
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience.
Oh and by the way, my friends made their flight! We pulled up to
the airport with 2 minutes to go before the check-in closed. There
was no leisurely coffee, no unhurried
goodbye, not
even a hug as they sprinted out the car towards the planes! But more
importantly they got there in the end.
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