Honesty
Honesty…is it always the best policy? I’ll go out on a limb and
say that I think probably, yes. Over the last few weeks I’ve
watched as a friend has got themselves into increasing
difficulties all because they weren’t honest about their
feelings from the start. By putting off telling the truth, (for
the right reasons – not wanting to cause hurt and pain) they
have in fact caused so many more problems and more hurt and pain
to all involved (them self included) – although to be honest, it
has been quite amusing to those of us on the sidelines!!
So in a conscience of honesty, I feel a need to confess some of
the things in my life that I’ve not been entirely honest about……
….Mr Tideford, I copied 3 answers from Charlotte’s science test
in year 7 (the fact that I ended up with a higher test mark, one
of the highest in the class, has weighed heavily on me for
years!!)…..Mum, I always did agree with Ian about your perm
looking awful – never, ever do that again! (I know it was the
late eighties, but even still!)…..Tom Scoble, it was always you
that I fancied, not your brother like everyone
thought!.......Nathan, I’ve never liked jazz!.......E-J, it was
me that stole and hid your keys at Uni, Rich didn’t eat
them!......everyone, I’m not the person you think I am…..
…don’t worry it’s not like I’m a secret agent hiding my real
identity – although how cool would that be?! I’m not really in
witness protection hiding from the Cornish Mafia (if there’s
such a group!), it’s just that no-one gets to see all of me
(insert your own nakedness joke here). For example my friends
see a different ‘Nat’ to my work colleagues, my family see a
different side of me compared to the young people I work with. I
hide parts of who I am to people – not always intentionally, and
it’s not like I’m lying about who I am, it’s just that not one
single person knows every aspect of me. In fact I’m not sure I
know every aspect of me, and I’m me!
My friends tell me that I talk too much and yet my counselling
clients see me as someone who rarely talks and just listens. I
have been known to be a little disorganised, but when it comes
to child protection I’m hyper-organised and very anal. I would
describe myself as mildly sarcastic at times (!!), but my
compassion for others is genuine and sincere. So you see I
contradict myself several times a day and am unable to honestly
describe myself in a few words.
So if I am so indescribable imagine the difficulty I have in
describing God. A child asked me last week what God was like and
after about 2 minutes of me waving my hands around (I am a
talker-with-hands person) desperately trying to sum up God, the
poor kid’s eyes glazed over and he walked away. But if I was
asked that same question today I would give a different answer.
It would still be vague and full of hand gestures and it
wouldn’t nearly hit the mark, but my idea of God will have
changed because my perspective has changed, my viewpoint has
moved. God is my friend and companion, yet He is my King and
creator. He is my guide and my Healer whilst also being my judge
and my teacher. Some days I see that He is my light and my
power, yet other days I see Him as grace and mercy. I love the
fact that I am unable to describe God. I love the fact that in
this life I will never see all of God. I love the fact that I
have the rest of my life to discover other facets of God and
I’ll never run out of discovering who God is and why this
indescribable deity loves me with all his heart. Why not join in
this journey of discovery with me – why be content with what you
know about God when there is so much more to see?!
So I can honestly say that I am not entirely the person you
think I am, because what ever aspect of me you have experienced,
there is more (and I’m guessing that goes for you and everyone
else too). I can honestly say that God is not entirely the
person (describing God as a thing sounds too irreverent) you
think He is – isn’t that exciting!
And if I’m truthful, if I’m really honest, I must admit to
stealing money from my brother’s 20p saver. Please forgive me
Ian, and I owe you about £1.40!
